2017, I was very glad to shut the door on you yesterday.
You were a year defined by loss, and unsteady ground beneath my feet.
But you taught me a lot too.
How to love better, how to stay kind when my world was broken. How to just keep going. How it’s ok to step back, scale down, and admit that I don’t need to achieve everything I ever wanted by 3pm last Tuesday. How to find peace in small, blissful moments – and how to enjoy them without feeling guilty.
And amongst the days when my still-healing heart has been heavy, some wonderful things happened almost without my really noticing them properly:
- Ben, Mango (the cat) and I moved into our first home together. I had a grand time making everything look festive for winter. Ben finally learned to appreciate that squidgy sofa cushions are marvellous. And Mango is happily snoozing her way around every blanket, cushion, bed, chair and fluffy rug in my collection of cosy things.
- I had a lovely week away in a log cabin with a wood burning stove, where I taught Ben how to light a fire and taught myself how to whinge a little less when being made to go walking down country lanes – especially when those lanes lead to seaside chips and farmhouse breakfasts.
- I spent a lot of time with my family, who I appreciate more, and I’ll probably always hug them a little tighter from now on.
- There were some gorgeous days and nights with my favourite friends. My first Comicon, The Crystal Maze, celebrating an engagement, Escape Rooms, board games, cat cafe’s, cocktails, fluffy new additions to families, stately homes, Eurovision, carolling concerts, craft fairs, Halloween, and Christmas cheer.
- I saw my first ever shooting stars and cried a bit at how amazing it was. And then I got very tipsy with some crafty loons who I love, in a field by a lake.
And I decided that these moments are my 2017. Appreciating loss, always missing, but clinging to these to shape my memories of the year – home, exploring, family, friends, and remembering to look up at the sky once in a while.
And for 2018?
I have two resolutions.
The first is simple – keep finding these small moments and make them my focus this year. Just to enjoy things.
And the second – I want to be a little kinder to this world we call home. From cutting down on meat and dairy to finding eco-friendly craft materials and switching to sustainable products at home. Just another set of small moments that should make another big difference by the year’s end.